SHIT/GOOD Ratings: Heineken Cup, round three
The Heineken Cup, as if it had a point to prove, produced some magnificent matches at the weekend. While all this was going on, we can only assume that Nigel Wray et al were sat in a room with no TV together telling each other how brilliant they are while Irish people looked in the windows pointing and laughing.
Remember that the SHIT/GOOD Ratings are simply a selection to kick off discussions, not a definitive list of the weekend's perfomances. If the computer has missed anyone out then tell us so.
Luther Burrell - A player with international aspirations, and touted as a contender in the media, would've been looking forward to facing the proven class of D'Arcy and O'Driscoll. By the end of the game he was looking forward to going home and having a very long think.
Heineken Cup Video: Northampton 7 - 40 Leinster
Highlights of the preposterously GOOD performance by Leinster in slapping down Northampton.
Much talk is about the BOD through the legs, Harlem Globetrotters pass, but for this blog the real magic was Heaslip's try; the build-up to which begins around 2'30". A stunning example of exactly how the game should be played.
Special Rugby Venn: Alain Rolland and others
Rugby Venn: Richard Hibbard
The wonder of power and hair explained by maths and stuff. Sort of.
The Secret Diary of Mike Phillips, age 31 and a half
Sunday 1 December 2013
Lost to Australia yesterday, and the pain of the loss is still with me. To lose by such a close margin in such a great game meant that I had to get an extra crate of Stella in, but as I crushed each finished can and just missed the bin with my throw it only served to remind me of my part in the failure. So I watched Babestation for a bit and that cheered me right up.
Monday 2 December 2013
Signed for Racing Metro! I won't lie to you, this has upset my initial plan for the rest of the season of documenting every woman I've slept with and putting them in alphabetical, chronological, and "number of positions used" order. But, there are literally tens of thousands of Parisien women whose boobs I haven't seen yet so I can get cracking on that instead now. And do some training and playing and stuff. If I have time.
Off out for a quiet drink now. Laters.
Tuesday 3 December 2013
Has anyone got any Alka-Seltzer? And some spare trousers?
SHIT/GOOD™ Ratings: Wales 26 - 30 Australia
As soon as Dan catches this ball he will become a gibbering fool
The computer is very pleased that there was such a great end to the Autumn Internationals, but less pleased that Australia won twice on Saturday and are also doing well in the cricket, which is decided SHIT. But, onwards...
Dan Lydiate: Without the ball he is up there with the best in the world; but with the ball currently he is up there with dazed ginger tom following the smell of fish into a massive shed full of angry terriers.
Wales Lineout: Football violence was once described as the "English Disease", and if Wales has an equivalent it's the malfunctioning lineout. No matter how well it may go in patches, Wales fans are always terrified that the next one is going to be a disaster and that will be it for the rest of the game. It's like a much taller, multiple bodied, less hateful version of Chris Ashton.
Rugby Chart: focus of Wales defence vs Australia
On the ticket prices for the Rugby World Cup 2015
The ticket prices for the next Rugby World Cup have been released today. There is much fanfare that there are many group games that fall within the affordable range, which is GOOD, but any games involving major nations and any knockout stage game is eye-wateringly expensive, which is SHIT.
The arguments for this are well rehearsed; commercial forces, demand for tickets, need to fund the game, IRB have to pay for Japan 2019, RWC is only around once every four years. These are all spokes on the same "we want to make a lot of money" wheel, and that is the nub of any discussion about ticket prices.
Yes, people will pay the £700 ticket prices for the final, but is that reason enough for charging it? No. Sport should not be an unbridled laissez-faire marketplace, and rugby definitely should not be.
We pride ourselves on being a different kind of game to football; more honest, more in touch with our base, of greater integrity. Yet with these prices, the IRB are basically saying "bollocks to anyone who doesn't have a large amount of money".
This is not calling for a return to corinthian amateurism, or for the IRB to completely ignore demand, but sport, more than any other entertainment sphere, should rise above naked market forces. The IRB could charge a great deal less for tickets and still make money to fund the game. Why not push for more TV money, for example?
Let's be clear about this, this will be a very profitable World Cup either way. Even the Rugby League World Cup, which has far less TV revenue, much lower ticket prices (£56 for a family of four to see the Semis, equivalent in 2015 will be £500!), much less demand and a much lower profile is well in the black in money terms.
These prices are naked profiteering in a time a high demand, something that rugby should not be part of, or should at least shave the excesses off. Would the IRB sell loaves of bread for £50 each to people who need food and have no other way of getting it? No, and while that is of course not a direct comparison, there is enough of a correlation to make this blog feel very uncomfortable about the whole bloody thing.
The Rugby Lexicon: more from our alternative dictionary.
stuartbarnes (n) - person that makes you angry. "That Alain Rolland is a complete stuartbarnes" Wales Fans.