Rugby sevens - softies

Rugby is a hard game, but it has had it's fair share of soft arses.  Here, in no particular order, is a selection of them.

1. Iain Balshaw. (right, injured again) Being from Lancashire, people in that part of the world would say he became a softie by default as soon as he took up the Union code.  But that would make Fran Cotton one, so that can't be right.  Instead, Balshaw gets in for his mixture of balsawood body, pretty boy features and a kit that he somehow manages to keep spotless in every game.

2. Arwel Thomas.  Weighed about 3 stones, and looked like schoolboy who had got on the team bus instead of the school trip to Alton Towers.  Despite being a fly-half Wales conceded a lot of tries through the centre channel when he played, due in the main to Allan Bateman having to cover all the soft bastard's tackles.

3.  Jon Webb.  Surgeon during the week, mincing Bath and England full-back at the weekend.  Had one of those rosy-cheeked faces that you really wanted to punch

4.  Christophe Dominici.  Has the gait of a midget beat poet.  When called upon to tackle can usually be relied upon to either not bother, or try a WWE style flying leg scissors in order to protect his naughty toddler's face.

5.  Tony Stanger.  Scored the Grand Slam try in 1990 to break England hearts.  Couldn't score a king punch out of a paper bag.

6.  Hugo Southwell.  Can't run; can't tackle; and the crowning turd atop this mountain of soft shite -  he is called Hugo.

7. Xavier Garbajosa.  Nobody likes facing Jonah Lomu, but pride prevents most players from simply stepping aside, particularly in a World Cup semi-final.  Not so little Xavier who shat himself as Lomu steamed through the line in 1999, and promptly jumped out of the way allowing the man-mountain to score.

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