How Will Greenwood are you?

Fancy a job as a professional pundit?  Well first you must benchmark yourself against the best pundit that ITV have (apparently), to see if you have what it takes.  Take our simple quiz to see if you can compete with Will Greenwood.

Fancy a job as a professional Rugby World Cup pundit?  Well first you must benchmark yourself against the best pundit that ITV has (apparently) to see if you have what it takes.  Take our simple quiz to see if you can compete with Will Greenwood.

1.  France have just missed a drop-goal, do you:
a) wax about how sitting deeper in the pocket would allow more time to get the kick away
b) question the validity of attempting a three-pointer at this stage, possibly mentioning 2003 world cup
c) start weeping inconsolably while listing every point England have scored via a drop goal since 1992

2.  Tonga vs South Africa, a ruck has formed and a questionable offside has been given against Tonga, do you:
a) view the replay while outlining what the referee is looking for in such a situation
b) make observation about what the South Africans did to secure the ball and frustrate Tongan ruckers, and that a strong pack, like the Boks and England, is essential.
c) Say that the mighty England forwards would never have let that happen, particularly the collossus that is Andrew Sheridan, who has the strength of 10 bears and the heart of a lion so brave it once won a Daily Mirror Pride of Britain Award for rescuing 47 children from the mouth of a volcano in Grimsby.

3.  All Blacks full back catches the ball, slaloms through 11 men and scores a 70 metre wonder try.  Do you:
a) tell us all how difficult it is to score such a special try
b) mention other special tries you have seen from the French, kiwis and possibly England.
c) Shrug your shoulders and say "meh", before going on to rant through the whole conversion attempt about how Jason Robinson is not just a class player, but a beautiful man who does more to lift the hearts of the known world than any amount of tries, Diana memorials, third-world debt relief or Basement Jaxx music could ever do.

4.  Scrum-time.  A big shove by the Argentinians knocks Ireland back, do you:
a) make the point that Ireland lack a genuinely great pair of props
b) recall the demolition job that the Ireland pack did on England in the 2007 Six Nations.
c) Burst into a full rendition of "Jerusalem", before calling your Welsh co-commentator a "colonial nonentity"

5.  Pitch-side after the World Cup final, you have a chance to question the victorious Boks’ coach what question do you ask?  Is it:
a)  Jake White, can you tell us what this means to you and your team?
b)  Jake White, can you tell us what it means to beat England and win this tournament?
3)  Jake White, you are a disgusting interloper who has prevented the rightful champions from being crowned, how would you like me to take this microphone and shove it so far up your former-racist arse that every time I punch you in the kidneys, which will be repeatedly in a minute, the squelching of your insides will mingle with your screams as they are broadcast around the whole globe?

How did you answer?
Mostly a):  You are clearly a person who likes to talk about the game in front of you at the time, and are therefore of no use to ITV.  A job at the BBC beckons.

Mostly b): You like to talk about England, or get references to them in, but they are balanced and considered within the context of the game situation.  Sky are recruiting, get yourself over there.

Mostly c): Congratulations!  ITV would like to offer you a job for the 2011 tournament, when you and Will be paired up to ensure that all available airtime is puncuated with the world England.


HAHAHAHA! Will Greenwood is awesome, wish I’d been watching ITV rather than having to listen to bloody French commentary on TV5Monde.

I’m all for a bit of commentarial bias at home – and why not!? Better than listening to f*****g Stuart Barnes lambasting us for the 197th time

A bit of bias when England are actually playing is to be expected, but to bang on about it through the entirety of a game between SA and Argentina is a bit much

Greenwood should not be allowed to commentate. How about showing interest in the actual game and respect for the players in question? Listening to him spoil a terrific game between SA and Argentina reminded me how much I hated English arrogance. And that is a shame because the English players have really earned their place in the final and I hope they do well next weekend.

Let Greenwood get over-excited pitchside but don’t let him spoil any more rugby games with inane banter which only serve to draw attention away from the actual spectacle.

Well I think it’s a brilliant piece of overstatement partly for comic effect, and its a larf…

…and don’t us English get bored of being told that shouting for your counry (pundit or regular fan)is ‘English arrogance’. There’s plenty of real arrogance out there emnating from the Celts and SH.

There are 4 countries in the Uk. Which is where ITV is broadcast to. Therefore, referring to the team playing as “us” and “we” is unnacceptable. And it would be unacceptable if a Welsh co-commentator did that to Wales or a Scottish co-commentatot di that to Scotland. But that never happens does it?

Every time we moan about England its always “sour grapes” – the English will NEVER understand what it feels like to have it rammed down our throats. Therefore, this debate will rage on for the rest of time. The term “United” Kingdom, is laughable.

Oh shut the fuck up. Davies on the BBc has been doing it for years with his andi-English (or anti-non-Welsh) bullshit for years and nobody has ever batted an eyelid. Same as ALL the SH comentators and even the great Bill McLaren was part biased in his commentary.

Stop bleating you bloody annoying celts.

Greenwood got REALLY irritating on Sunday. Needed to be reminded that South Africa and Argentina were playing and England weren’t. He spent 80+ minutes waffling on about England which was 100% irrelevant to the game i was actually watching.
It’s people like him mainly responsible for the “anyone but England” attitude in the rest of the world.
I’d have had no objection to Greenwood if he just commented on the game being played in front of him. He didn’t.

You know, there are always two simple options. 1. Mute button. 2. Change channel. I think we’ve established that Will wasn’t exactly the right commentator for the game, but if you don’t like it, do something. Don’t come on here and spout your racist rubbish

Greenwood is comical in his quotes, if you fail to see this then stop taking yourself so seriously. Whenever we hear the welsh commentators, they invariably hark on about how the all blacks cheated them of a famous victory 30 years ago, or favour the side playing the English. For years Rugby commentary in this country has been so PC and unbiased I welcome greenwoods occasional jibe. He’s no Murray Mexted so a slight over reaction imo.
Bitter celts, as usual.

My good god, some of you lot need to get a grip on life! i think the editor lee, did a good job pointing out Will Greenwood was slightly biased…. but i hate this anyone but england attitude! it is racist, and down right fuc*ing stupid!!!! im ashamed to call myself a celt after some of your stupid comments…

good Luck to England! they deserve to be in the final!!

Cheers for the support Stu.

This piece was obviously meant to be a fairly tongue-in-cheek look at Will’s commentary. But it was well on the excess side of England, particularly considering it was a game that England were not even playing in. Apparently ITV have even said the same in response to people who emailed in to complain.

However, the caveat has to be added that Will has been pretty good this World Cup. Although in relation to ITV that is like saying that Tom Varndell is pretty good in relation to a blind bloke with no hands.

Please please don’t let ITV get the next World Cup! Commentary is awful, faux emotive football-style guff churned out by grinning slack-jawed gimps, and as for the “rugby expressed through the medium of dance” credits…. WTF?

I hope ITV cut to Greenwood’s stupid face when his chin hits the floor at the final whistle; leaving him to explain a 40-point drubbing of England’s lion-hearted band of ruck spoillers.
Lets face it England = poor man’s Argentina, I look forward to welcoming the Boks to Cardiff where they will demolish our boys in a highly entertaining game of rugby (not England’s brand of rugby…if you can what you fekkers play rugby that is)

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