The fat enigma that is Andy Goode

Aside from 1980s footballer and Bob Carolgees lookalike Mick Quinn, has there ever been an elite level sportsman whose appearance is less convincing of that fact than Andy Goode?  He’s overweight, looks about 42-years-old, and has the pace of a 1974 Austin Allegro.  In fact his face even looks a bit like an Austin Allegro - a bald one, if that’s possible. 

But, once again, he marshalled Leicester in sterling fashion in a high-pressure match to beat Glaws by the narrowest of margins, winning man-of-the-match in the process.  Inevitably, it was his boot that slotted the winning drop in the dying minutes of the engrossing encounter at Kingsholm.

Everything that makes Goode so, erm, good was evident in this game:  the quiet authority, the steady if unspectacular passing, and the fabulous kicking out of hand.  Also present was the bad: the tendency to take the ball up a bit too often, and that woeful lack of pace – the sight of him breaking the line, only to then splutter in slow motion for about eight metres before being tackled by the almost walking back row made me giggle for a full five minutes.

But, as Alan Sugar probably says, you can’t argue with results, and time and again this fella has shown that he is top-drawer.  The drawer probably also contains a few stale doughnuts and a stinky vest, but it’s a top-drawer nonetheless.

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