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South Africa 28 - 25 Lions: A dissection in seven soul-splintering parts
Kearney & Rees depressed, AWJ hates everyone in the world, particularly Ronan O'Fucking Gara
So it's all over. The series is lost and the third game next week looks about as appetising as Beanfeast served up on Shane MacGowan's face with a side order of cheesy-peas. But despite my only desire at present being to weep quietly into my chest while the black wings of depression beat into my soul, I have instead decided to try and analyse what went wrong. WARNING: Reading this may make you feel greater sadness, listen to Leonard Cohen, some of the more morose Smiths output, or worse still a Keane album. You have been warned.
On the set piece defence
What was going on there then? As someone once said, fool me once and shame on you, fool me twice and Bryan Habana will score a try that sends many people into fits of rage. At least I think that is how it went. First phase late pop pass moves executed as well as the Boks did those two are to be admired, but the second one was a real kick in the teeth for the Lions defence after JP Pietersen had pierced the line with such ease earlier. What it shows us more than anything is just what a game of inches rugby can be.
On Ronan O'Fucking Gara
In line with a suggestion by our friends over at the excellent Rugby Breakdown blog, this is now the Irish fly-half's official name, please feel free to use it copiously in your daily life and put people straight if they use the lummox's former moniker. A missed tackle for the Pretorius try was as unforgivable as it was wholly predictable, and it is still a mystery to me why ROFingG ever attempts a front-on hit. Surely at this stage of his career he should know to let them pass and hit them side-on, thus relying on technique rather than force he so blatantly does not have? Is it some macho thing? The actions to give away the penalty a few minutes later suggest so. Either that or he is simply a dumb idiot who can't tackle. I'll let you decide.
On the bench
Whilst Ronan O'Fucking Gara is hugely to blame for the last five minutes of disappointment, you cannot help but go back to his initial selection on the bench ahead of the more solid and more talented James Hook. The selection of ROFingG also meant that there was no centre cover, something Hook could also have provided, as well as full-back if required. Also, HE CAN ACTUALLY TACKLE! On top of this, there was little size coming off the bench, something which certainly left the Lions at a disadvantage as the game wore on.
On injuries
Having said all of the above, I cannot remember a Test match - or indeed any match - when both props and the entire midfield was injured. That was a blow that no team in the world could bounce back from strongly, particularly this team that was so reliant on the class at 12 and 13. Amazingly, after the First Test when the Lions would probably have paid to go uncontested in the scrums, in this outing it hamstringed them considerably, such was the dominance of the visiting front five during the time they were all on the field.
On Burger's eye-socket bothering
He should not have been on the field, simple as that. If you listen to linesman Bryce Lawrence at around 18 seconds of the highlights, he clearly says to ref Berdos "I can see clearly fingers in the eye area, six green". Those words, or something like it, must always lead to a red card - no arguments, no mitigation, no defence. On a larger point beyond this Test, it is something the IRB should look at immediately, as we cannot have a situation where a player could potentially half-blind someone and only be out of the game for 10 minutes. If an official does not see it then the citing panel will deal with it, but for an official to witness it, tell the ref what happened in such uncertain terms and that player to then remain on the field is nothing short of an incompetent disgrace of mind-melting proportions.
On South Africa
They are world champions for a reason and, Schalk Burger aside, thouroughly deserved their win and I raise my hat to them. I'll have two-fingers stuck up behind my hat of course, but I raise it none the less. Actually, I don't own a hat so I think I'll just stick two-fingers up at them. But congratulations, yadda yadda and so on.
On the verge of a nervous breakdown
Me, and I imagine a lot of others after so much expectation dashed so cruelly. BY RONAN O'FUCKING GARA!! It all comes back to him. Sob.
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June 28, 2009 in British Lions, South Africa | Permalink
