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"What if dogs could play rugby?" I don't hear you ask, but I'm answering it anyway..
Inspired by The Rugby Blog's tremendous efforts, I thought I'd have a go.
We all love a dog, but which of the canine world would thrive in a rugby team? Here's how they would line up.
1. Bull Mastiff – Strong, powerful, ugly: all the hallmarks of a good prop
2. Staffordshire Bull Terrier – With a heart the size of a London bus, plus pace and durability, the stocky little monster is a shoo-in.
3. St Bernard – An awesome powerhouse. Added bonus of having some brandy round its neck should it be at a loose end at the bottom of a ruck, or waiting for a penalty to be kicked. If it played for Quins it could replace the brandy with blood.
4. Irish Wolfhound – Tall and wiry. Plus the Irish are always good at line-outs.
5. Great Dane – Huge. Has a running style akin to a load of broom-handles tied together and thrown down some stairs. Not unlike Ben Kay.
6. Rottweiller – Nails. Lack of pace will see him in the second wave. You’d better pray the first wave gets you.
7. Lurcher – Scruffy, pacy psycho of questionable heritage and mental state.
8. German Shepherd – Exudes authority and calm at the base of the scrum, the natural choice as captain due to high skill set and pointy ears.
9. Jack Russell Terrier – Small, quick, irritating, never shuts up.
10. Border Collie – has everything required of an outside-half: brains, speed, and vast experience of herding brainless animals around a field.
11. Whippet – Gives up a bit in bulk, but deadly speed and finishing. Never did Shane Williams any harm did it?
12. Siberian Husky – renowned for its abilities of escaping from yards, catching small animals, and often figuring out numerous inventive ways of doing both. Unlocking a blitz defence should be no problem.
13. Doberman – Quick mind and decent pace. Docked tail leaves less for scrambling defences to tackle
14. Afghan Hound - Foppish looking, but with extreme pace; not unlike Aurelien Rougerie.
15. Greyhound – Can pick its time to open up its legs and hit the perfect running line at immense speed. The perfect line being the one with a mechanical rabbit in it,
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October 20, 2009 in Silliness | Permalink
