« THE COMPARISON: Wales vs New Zealand, Sat 17:15 | Main | Rugby Video: Leicester 22 - 17 South Africa, highlights »
SHIT/GOOD™ Ratings: Autumn Internationals, week 1
It finally started and now we can see how it turned out. No, not the matches, the SHIT/GOOD™ computer. Don't forget that you can see highlights of the England game in the video player in the sidebar.
SHIT
Ugo Monye - He is not a full-back, and any moron who thinks he's a better option than living room singing superstar Ben Foden is, well, a moron. The crowning turd of his fetid performance had to be the "tackle" on Ashley-Cooper.
Matt Banahan - I don't care how big and quick he is, when it takes a person 4.2 kilometres to get up to top speed they are not an international winger. He looked a lot like Andy Farrell out there, pace-wise. Also has no step or kicking game, tools that are pretty much necessary at this level. Horrendously exposed.
Wales under high balls - Looked like a game of pinball every time any one of their back three tried to catch one.
Wales at breakdown - We all know that NZ are a decent counter-rucking side, but they are not as good as the Welsh pack made them look.
England creativity - Back play was more lateral than a drunk teenager at the end of the pub crawl and the forward play had about as much dynamism as my grandad attempting to work an iPhone.
International Rugby - Let's face it, not exactly wonderful adverts for the sport were they?
Sky commentators - Yes, we get it, you are pleased Jonny Wilkinson is back.
England's Tracksuits - Looking like a gang of background dancers from Beat Street is not the way to go fellas
GOOD
Gethin Jenkins - Gets better and better all the time. Like a rampaging pig all over the park and as good as anyone in the tight. Wales missed Adam Jones, but it is hard to fathom the impact that this bloke missing a game would have on them.
Lewis Moody - I take it all back.
Jonny Wilkinson - Pretty decent all round performance on his return, but hardly the second coming of Christ as Sky would like to have us all to believe.
Jamie Roberts - picked up where he left off pre-injury, which is nice.
Will Genia - Since Gregan retired there has been a void where an Australian scrum-half to hate and admire in equal measure should be, this lad looks like he could be the answer.
David Wilson - Quietly did a decent job and all of a sudden the post-Vickery world does not seem quite so worrying for England fans.
What/who are your nominations? Let me have the full force of your SHIT/GOOD™ reckonings in the comments.
Why not subscribe to Blood and Mud? You can get all our updates fresh in your inbox via email, or add us to your favourite feedreader
November 8, 2009 in Australia, Autumn Internationals, England, New Zealand, SHIT, GOOD™ Ratings, Wales | Permalink| Del.icio.us this!|Digg this! | Punditit this!
Comments
oh yes baby! its back.
SHIT
Englands tactic of standing in pods of 1/2 by the side of a ruck and ramming into the forwards, which have a good 20 seconds to gear themselves towards the hit.
What is the fucking point of it? its bullshit.
I knew it, the pub knew it and everyone in the rugby world knows it. The only person who doesnt, is the England players management?
Seriously can someone please give me an asnwer to its use in the game of rugby. No other internation team does it like us, i though we had moved on.
Posted by: brian | Nov 8, 2009 11:45:18 PM
oh yes baby! its back.
SHIT
Englands tactic of standing in pods of 1/2 by the side of a ruck and ramming into the forwards, which have a good 20 seconds to gear themselves towards the hit.
What is the fucking point of it? its bullshit.
I knew it, the pub knew it and everyone in the rugby world knows it. The only person who doesnt, is the England players management?
Seriously can someone please give me an asnwer to its use in the game of rugby. No other internation team does it like us, i though we had moved on.
Posted by: brian | Nov 8, 2009 11:45:19 PM
Oh man, that was pretty woeful bar the first 10 minutes.
1.) Agreed, what the hell was that premeditated pick up and go shit from the ruck? Only England can turn a quick attacking position into a slow, dire forward rumble that gains minus 2 inches per pick up and go
2.) Stuart Barnes said England has reverted to a simple game and the forwwards were no longer seem mixing it in with the backs - Great! But for god sake where were the runners off Jonny and Geraghty for crying out loud. The poor guys had virtually no options running off them
3.) Matt Banahan - agreed, offered zero. Nowadays big guys like him dont punch through and score tries at will at International level. What they can do though is ensure it takes 2-3 people to bring him down, thus open up holes for people to run off him. Opps, hang on a minute, there were no people runnign off anyone all day long. It was like England had two separate units out there.
The only positives:
1.) Jonny made it through a game and he's only going to get better and better
2.) Tight five did well, even Borthwick moved his fat lazy arse around the park and did some grunt work.
Posted by: Dan | Nov 9, 2009 12:38:17 AM
Shit: Crane, cumbersome, slow, didn't defend well or offer anything going thing going forwards when you play and make Nick Easter look like the second coming of dayglo you really don't deserve a international career.
Alright: Hipkiss okay he didn'e have a great game but the fact that he often stayed on his feet dragging 3 blokes alot bigger than him for a couple of yards untill he finally goes down always makes me smile. Banahan take notes.
Posted by: Narkins | Nov 9, 2009 2:15:45 AM
SHIT - Johnson as a manager. Losing at home to this current Wallabies squad is not acceptable - & that is not disrepectful, Aussie fans are not happy with their current team - Aus deserved to win, they were the better team, but England should expect more from their team.
SHIT - almost everything that Gatland says (but that is probably deliberate).
SHIT - the siting of Carter. Pathetic.
SHIT - Banahan. Give Monye his wing back and play Foden.
SHIT - Picking Geraghty and then not picking Clarke - they play in the same team week in week out - you might find their empathy a touch better than the usual clueless England back play.
SHIT - Deacon. Always has been always will be. Saying he is one dimensional is a compliment.
Posted by: Nick C | Nov 9, 2009 8:06:31 AM
SHIT - Journalists obsession with Jonny Wilkinson. Change the record.
Posted by: Nick C | Nov 9, 2009 8:20:00 AM
The best thing about Banahan is that he has a turning circle not dissimilar to an articulated lorry. Every time Australia put a kick behind him, you could almost hear the little siren and robotic voice going 'This vehicle is reversing'
It was painful
Posted by: Mr West | Nov 9, 2009 8:36:15 AM
Oh dear a lot of "shit" flying around. Agree by the way.
A few "goods" - Haskell when he came on, eh, that's it.
More 'shit' - England's tactic to chip over the Aus defense. OK try it once but after its failed don't keep doing it.
Shit - England management advise to Care that meant he never tried a quick penalty or break around ruck (his specialty).
The biggest 'shit' of all however, was what I did Sunday morning after my 10 pints of Guiness whilst watching the game.
Posted by: Baz | Nov 9, 2009 11:22:27 AM
I already warned how shit Bananahan would be and i was right, in this case others were saying that he did the 100 meters sprint in 10.3 seconds but the important thing about that is how fast he runs 10/20 meters in probable 10 seconds??? People wanted himas a centre lol!!!!
Posted by: Kenny | Nov 9, 2009 12:06:49 PM
Will Genia was a couple of levels above ok, he is not the second coming.
Posted by: AG | Nov 9, 2009 12:14:36 PM
Shit - Englands gameplan.
Shit - Our kicking
Shit - our inability to switch up when high balls and little chips over clearly not working
Shit - Geraghty for delivering most of the poor kicking game
Posted by: Lard | Nov 9, 2009 12:14:40 PM
shit but not just shit he was bloody hopeless..geraghty!!!
reminded me of o'gara, positionally he was lost, tactically he was clueless, (ok so he did one little shimmy) and then crane started ok but went to sleep,
hate to say this but borthwick played well in the lineout, happy to say he is still the weakest ball carrying forward in the world!!!!
cohen and monye should be ashamed at being dragged along like two leg-shagging dogs...
really liked genia for oz, finally they found someone to replace that irritating muppet gregan.
laters gents.
Posted by: duncandisorderly | Nov 9, 2009 1:17:32 PM
Surprised not more shit for Cueto? He's not only shit, he's a very, very gobby loser. No doubt it'll be the other 14 in the team who let him down.
Banahan, Geraghty, Monye - hilarious. As a welshman who works in England I've had a few weeks of the twickers hype machine rolling all over my lunchtime papers. Banahan is a monster who will beat off three teams full of All Blacks, laughing as he plonks down his 47th try over the heads of all the pygmies on the pitch. Geraghty is going to make people think that Jacko, Elvis and Jesus are all back, in the same body, and now they play the most sublime swervy rugby the world has ever seen. Monye, in the most amazing historical revisionism since Israel was formed, was actually a star on the Lions tour and will have no problems at full back. Every .. single .. one .. of those predictions was, as expected, bollux. Monye was hilarious and proved yet again he is an athlete, a runner, not a rugby player.
In the pub we were in we couldn't hear the commentary, but the endless slo-mo repeats of every little breath and hair flick that Jonny did had even the most ardent Jonny lover exasperated. Jesus, he's pretty good, you know. If he was Irish or Welsh he'd have a good chance of being in the first XV, but he would not be a definite starter over the heads of Hook, Jones, O'Gara, Sexton, etc. He's a world class player, but he's not the best ten in the world by a some way, and certainly not good enough to overcome the muck elsewhere on the pitch with him.
Wales game was dissapointing, not much fireworks. I didn't think our back three dealt with the ball all that badly (certainly nowhere near as comically lost as Monye) but we missed Byrne (but then any team who could have Byrne in would miss him if he was injured). We had a few chances, we didn't finish them. So did NZ.
Carter should have been binned, not cos it was malicious, but just cos that's what happens with high tackles, deliberate or not. If's, coulda's and shoulda's for Wales again really....
Posted by: brighty | Nov 9, 2009 1:50:36 PM
Brighty,
I thought Cueto did OK actually, not brilliant, but OK. He can at least change direction when he runs and he was positionally not bad. He looks like a winger if nothing else, and compared with that giant lummox on the other side he is a revelation.
As someone said though, a lot of SHIT flying around, which sums up the whole weekend really...
Posted by: lee-editor | Nov 9, 2009 2:26:11 PM
My opinion of Cueto is tempered by his own opinion of himself. If I think he is even half as good as he obviously thinks he is (and he feels the need to repeatedly tell everyone how good he is) then I should be expecting the bastard offspring of Gareth Davies and Campese to be on the wing, but no, it's the prosaic, okish, solid, Cueto. Basically I still have not forgiven him for all that "I reckon I'm in with a great chance of being selected" followed by "If the coaches hadn't been the Welsh coaches then I'd have been in the Lions team" guff he came out with last Spring. I don't like mundane players, but I intensely dislike mundane ones who blame everyone else for their lack of impact.
And please keep the Banahan bashing up, keeping me amused on a long day in work. It makes me fondly remember all that "The Volcano is going to walk ALL OVER YOU WALES!!!" crap before that rather wonderful result we had in Twickenham.
Posted by: brighty | Nov 9, 2009 2:34:59 PM
Shit, I meant Gareth Edwards obviously. I have to go home and have forty lashes for that one, it's a sin in Wales to get that wrong.
Posted by: brighty | Nov 9, 2009 2:35:41 PM
On Banahan,
It's unfair to blame the man himself, just like it wouldn't be fair to blame me if someone asked me to fix a jet engine - I simply don't have the skills to do it, much like big Matt and international rugby.
The really worrying thing is that Johnno could not see this.
Posted by: lee-editor | Nov 9, 2009 2:50:05 PM
Couldn't agree more about Banahan. My point about the Volcano was that this sort of "here is the new saviour of English rugby" crap keeps happening.
However, I can't agree it's not more worrying that Johnno can't see this and this brings me back to "the new saviour" mentality again. Being England manager is THE FIRST TIME HE HAS EVER COACHED! Do you realise how nuts that sounds to everyone outside your country? You gave the number one job you had, at a time when it needed someone to really pull something quite special together, to a guy who was a really, really great player and captain, but had never coached so much as an under 7s tag team before. And you're surprised when it becomes obvious he doesn't know what he's doing? You're surprised when he favours Leics players (Deacon) over obviously better players from other teams? To everyone else in the world it seems you just went for the popular choice and assumed he'd rub his world cup magic over everything and then it'd all be ok. Absolutely nuts. Even if he does come good, he's using your national team, the pinnacle of the game in your country, to learn his trade. I spent many years getting annoyed that Dai Young was clearly doing the same in charge of the Blues, but that was just a club. I'd be pulling my eyes out if they gave Martyn Williams the wales managers job when he retires from playing. That's the analogy -> class player, hero, genius even, but coach? Hang about Martyn, let's see how you do with Caerphilly second XV forwards coaching first.....
Posted by: brighty | Nov 9, 2009 3:26:12 PM
Brighty - totally agree!
Please believe me when I say that I didn't want Johnson as manager and I don't have a selective memory! I think at the time I wanted Dean Richards (who, obviously is a cheat but a good coach) or Richard Hill (the former Bristol manager not the blind side flanker).
One of the people who does piss me off is Stephen Jones (the journalist not the flyhalf) as he spent about 6 months saying that Johnson MUST become England manager and now he is slagging him off (the word Judas doesn't do him justice). Now Jones wants McGeechan (The Polish have a word for people like Jones - it is "flag" - because they try to look good no matter which way the wind is blowing)
Dear Blood & Mud - Can we start a "We hate Stephen Jones (the journalist not the fly half) and the entire editorial team at the Daily Mail" - I think it might be popular
Posted by: Nick C | Nov 9, 2009 3:51:07 PM
I totally second that Nick, i hate that c*nt Jones he spends his weekends slagging Johnson and anything Southern Hemisphere he brands cheating.
He also hates everything Wales and in particular Irish. He cant stand Irish players of any choice and said before the lions tour that BOD should not have been on the tour as he wasnt good enough.
Off with the gits head!!!
Posted by: Kenny | Nov 9, 2009 4:04:02 PM
Nick, I can't stand that moustachio'd twat either.
Brighty, I did make the point way back when they appointed Johnson, and let's be honest it was that stupid fucker Rob Andrew that was instrumental in it, that it might not be a good idea given his lack of experience.
The most damning indictment of Johnno's inflexibility is that he has clung on to John Wells as the forwards' coach despite the pack as an 8 not functioning correctly for two years; particularly in the loose and at breakdown. This was shockingly evident again on Saturday and I really do not know how much more proof he needs that Wells is doing an appalling job.
I keep coming back to the notion that it's a Leicester and "up the jumper" thing, and if that is right then it if very very depressing indeed.
Posted by: lee-editor | Nov 9, 2009 4:08:58 PM
Kenny,
Jones also despises anything remotely associated with Rugby League with an almost nazi-level of vehemence and unreasonableness.
Posted by: lee-editor | Nov 9, 2009 4:12:54 PM
I could write an essay, but...as for the errr..'recycling' of the ball at the ruck - do the players themselves not even think after the umpteenth "pick up and go sideways to create another breakdown either level with or a bit further back than the last one" that they should change their tactics? In one passage of play they did this something like 4 times and ended up 5 yrds backwards. What about - oh, I don't know, call me crazy but... - the captain saying 'this ain't working lads, lets try something different'. Regrettably he had a respectable game - perhaps his first respectable game for England..?
I sat shaking my head at the telly explaining to my 9 yr old why he should never play like England and instead look to run the ball and actually show some ambition on the pitch.
I really can't even fight back against Welsh vitriolic comments - fairplay to them. We're shit, we're not even looking like improving and despite them losing, they can rub our noses in it as at least they seem open-minded to the idea of 'trying' to play rugby. It's very depressing being an England supporter.
Posted by: BigR | Nov 9, 2009 4:27:49 PM
Re Jones: I never understand why he seems to hate so much that is Welsh. The bugger is Welsh, why does he hate it so much? I wonder if he's just a stirrer.
Re Jonno: So we're all on the same page then, Jonno is not the messiah ("he's just a very...."). Jonno's teams play like he played -> up the jumper, get as many Leics boys on the pitch as possible and beat the opposition up. It works if you have Hill, Back, Jonno, Larry, etc. but it doesn't work when you have Croft, Deacon, Haskell..... To be fair I doubt it would work as well as it used to even with the same players. As I've said on here before, England were the fittest and best trained team in the 90s and early noughties, now everyone's big and fit, but England haven't moved on from the bludgeon ... and as if by magic, we're back to discussing Banahan on the wing. Same old same old.
Rob Andrew = TWAT. That's not even an opinion, it's a fact, look it up in a dictionary. Under the word TWAT is a big picture of Rob Andrew carrying a wheelbarrow of RFU money, laughing his arse off.
On the other hand, long may this ineptitude continue! :-)
Posted by: brighty | Nov 9, 2009 4:30:12 PM
Yes, please carry on regardless, I could do with more of this:
http://www.planetrugby.com/story/0,25883,3551_5684988,00.html
Posted by: brighty | Nov 9, 2009 4:34:31 PM
God Bless You Brighty!!!!
Andrew is indeed a prize twat - a spineless corporate whore - can't think of anything else to add, I think that sums him up about right.....
And sad to say England are shit (I am English so I can say it) - I will not visit Twickenham and I will not buy any merchandise etc until England start playing rugby again - the only way the corporate prats will listen is if you stop giving them money
Posted by: Nick C | Nov 9, 2009 4:43:15 PM
God Bless You Brighty!
Andrew is a steaming turd!
& England are SHIT at the moment (being English I can say that) - why do people continue to go to Twickenham and give more money to the RFU - never before has mediocrity been so handsomely rewarded
Posted by: Nick C | Nov 9, 2009 4:54:23 PM
I saw this amazing picture of Banahanbanaman turning to chase a ball that had been kicked over his head.
<http://billingonmobile.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/oiltanker.jpg>
Posted by: Kirk | Nov 9, 2009 5:05:38 PM
I rememebr there being a poll once where the managers of the Premiership voted the worst coach in the league at a time when Andrew was milking his dollars from Newcastle. Guess who got the prestigous award, yep, Mr. Andrew himself.
Agreed Johnson should not be coaching England right now. I don;t doubt his commitment and heart for the job, but you can see what he's doing. Like people ahve said, ball up the jumper, damage limitation.
As for Cueto, we're right, he hasnt been given enough SHIT yet. I'm amazed that the guy is back in an England shirt after his truely diabolical performance against SA in the group game in the 07 World Cup. He's almost on a par with Varndell in the 'I'm to shit scared to tackle ranks'. I had a mate who played against him at University in Manchester, and he said he was shit then. He's still shit.
One thing I think hasnt been brought up though is the severe lack of leadership skills Borthwick has on the pitch. Even when you see him being interviewed on TV, he just looks lifeless and so uninspiring. Fair do's, he had a relatively decent game on Saturday, but isnt that saying something in itself? He should be having decent games everytime he pulls on an England shirt. The fact that we've come to expect our Captain to be shit, and complement him when he does his job says a lot about the sorry state of the two units that were playing on the same team on Saturday.
But let's put a lot of this into perspective... there were a lot of players missing on Saturday. England looked like a team who went out to limit the damage. They looked like a 3rd string 15 who played to their capabilities. Quite a few of those guys who pulled on the shirts on saturday won't pull them on again, and ironically, they were the ones that had a half decent game...
Posted by: Dan | Nov 9, 2009 9:36:22 PM
Trying to move on to some other good/shit:
Good: Castro. I cannot recall seeing such a dominant propping performance. I have not even seen Matt "Michelin Man" Dunning get bent over like that.
Good: Moody. Also McCaw. He looked ordinary for much of the "Super" 14 and I was looking forward to crowing about how he was shown up by Martyn Williams, a man twice his age. Instead he played a blinder.
Shit: Deacon. His only contribution was letting Genia walk over for a try. Otherwise absent.
Shit: Australian commentators on Fox. Smug, harping, boring and lacking in insight or analysis. And the media generally. You wouldn't know that that the World and Tri-Nations champs got done by an English club side?
Good: Greenwood and his mate who commentated on the Tigers game. Analysis, humour, wit and intelligence.
Posted by: Phil | Nov 10, 2009 1:23:28 PM
SHIT
Louise Deacon -
F*ck off you dozy useless twat - harsh words but to be honest if I wanted to watch someone be an apparition i'd watch fookin Most Haunted..... at least people aren't afraid to get stuck in on there... Shaw or Lawes to start please, anyone but Palmer #2 !
SHIT
Shane Geraghty -
I was never a fan - but then I had to start consiering it because he was playingf phenomenall well for Northampton, I said he needed to bulk up, he bulked up - but on that pitch he was weak - and not a 12 - christ my mouth waters at what Wilkinson and Fluety could come up with.
SHIT and GOOD
The fact I have tickets for the next two games - please don't be washouts.....
GOOD
THE BENCH -
Courtney Lawes and Hartley did a sterling job off the bench (ot to discredit Thommo though who did a great job) - Haskel, as I bite my fist to say this, was also very good - along with Hodgson who created a quicker and snappier pace with delivery. Jonno probably didn't take not.
I am struggling for anything else to be honest - really disheartened.
except for BAZ's comment....
The biggest 'shit' of all however, was what I did Sunday morning after my 10 pints of Guiness whilst watching the game.
I shat myself with laughter reading that!
"
Posted by: Looking Looking | Nov 10, 2009 1:52:01 PM
SHIT
my spelling is so shit
Posted by: Looking Looking | Nov 10, 2009 1:53:01 PM
Despite probably being Banahan's biggest (or only) fan, I really cant bring myself to ask for another international chance for him. He will probably get many though, knowing (of) current management. Where he will of course score 3 tries, and single handedly destroy the entire Argentine pack, before.... Nope. Its hopeless.
Posted by: ScrumGuru | Nov 11, 2009 8:07:06 PM
