Blood & Mud

RBS 6 Nations 2012: SHIT team of the tournament

Rougerie looking not his best on or off the field.

15.  Clement Poitrenaud - The good thing about Clement is that he runs a lot of ball back.  Unfortunately, in this tournament this was not really working for him and so he started kicking; it was at this point we realised why he runs so much ball back.

14.  Andrew Trimble - Didn't transfer his club form to the big stage.

13.  Aurelien Rougerie - Spent many years looking like a plank of wood; suprised everyone last year by looking a lot better, went back to full coated with Ronseal form this time around.

12.  Nick De Luca - What can we say that's not been said so many, many, many, many times before.

11.  Any suggestions?  Struggling to think of any more poor wing performances.  Strettle for not scoring vs Wales?  Lee Jones?

10.  Lionel Beauxis - Picking a kicking fly-half to match a territorial strategy is understandable; continually selecting a man who kicks like he has gout in both feet is not so.

9.  Edoardo Gori - Italian half-backs appear to be being developed in lab staffed by chimps on bad acid.

8.  Phil Dowson - I called for his inclusion for a long time, but his lack of impact was shocking.  If England want a man who can dive on a ball and have his face stood on by Tom Croft then they might as well select me.

7.  Sean O'Brien - His difficult second season in the limelight continues. Being played out of position can't help, mind.

6.  Robert Barbieri - See 4, below.

5.  Bradley Davies - Responsible for perhaps the greatest brainfart in international rugby since England selection of Steve Hanley.

4.  Marco Bortolami - I failed to notice he was even there.

3.  Matt Stevens - If this is any indication of what he plays like when clean he'd better get back on the phone to his jazz salt dealer asap.

2.  Dimitri Swarzewski - He was smashed over in the tackle so many times it's surprising he didn't have his tan knocked off him.

1.  Any prop from Ireland - Hard to single out any one of them after the Twickenhan debacle.

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RBS 6 Nations 2012: SHIT team of the tournament

Rougerie looking not his best on or off the field.

15.  Clement Poitrenaud - The good thing about Clement is that he runs a lot of ball back.  Unfortunately, in this tournament this was not really working for him and so he started kicking; it was at this point we realised why he runs so much ball back.

14.  Andrew Trimble - Didn't transfer his club form to the big stage.

13.  Aurelien Rougerie - Spent many years looking like a plank of wood; suprised everyone last year by looking a lot better, went back to full coated with Ronseal form this time around.

12.  Nick De Luca - What can we say that's not been said so many, many, many, many times before.