Following our piece last week and our discussion in this week’s pod, a few of you out there pointed out some more examples of tomfoolery that we missed. So, here are even more incidents that are up there with Martin Castrogiovanni lying about a family emergency to party in Vegas with bikini clad ladies and elite footballers.
1. Gavin Henson vs Carl Fearns, 2013
The Gavster remains a divisive character and it seens that Fearns is firmly in the “don’t like him” side of the divide, or at least he was on this night out when the big scouser executed an Ali-esque speed punch to down the Pencoed pumper on a Bath Rugby night out. Seriously you cannot stop watching this video, such is its brilliance.
2. Mike Phillips vs McDonalds, 2011
Scrum-half, mouth on a stick and olympic-level shagger Phillips has a had a few late night altercations including having a 3am fight with a cabby and taking a pasting outside the Soda Bar in Cardiff, but his bust-up with a McDonald’s bouncer is the most famous. A witness said “He was not allowed into McDonald’s and was having an argument with the bouncers.” there was then ‘a scuffle with bouncers outside the restaurant before one of them sat on him until the police came”
3. Danny Cipriani vs a bus, 2013
After some wilderness years, Cipriani returned to England a changed man for Sale Sharks. Under the wing of fitness and lifestyle guru Steve Black, Danny appeared a sensible man with ambitions to fulfill his potential. If the potential he wished to fulfill was to walk in front of a bus while spannered on a pub crawl in Leeds and hospitalise himself, then mission accomplished.
4. Gavin Henson vs Great Western Trains, 2007
Ospreys management allowed the Teak Coloured Tit to return to Wales on the train with his friends instead of travelling back with the team, believing for some reason that he could be trusted. Here’s what he and his pals did with that trust (deep breath): Swore repeatedly at passengers who asked them to be quiet, called one woman a “fat bitch”, showered beer on the seats and each other, played drinking games which involved forfeits of hitting each other or downing beer and breaking his own hand in the process, and left passengers sobbing in distress. This was made worse by the fact it was on the 7:15pm train.
5. Manu Tuilagi vs New Zealand shipping, 2011
Following the soul-splintering defeat by France in the Rugby World Cup, and after the dwarves incident, the then young Leicester centre decided to jump off a ferry as it was docking in an Auckland harbour and instead swim the short distance ashore. On leaving the water in his pants he was immediately detained before being returned to the squad. A spokesman for the harbour said it was “highly unusual and a very dangerous thing to do”, which is coincidentally what most fans said when Lancaster selected Manu on the wing that time.
6. Danny Cipriani vs Melbourne Rebels, 2011
Danny was one of the marquee signings for the Rebels when they were set up. They should have known that this particular marquee would end up full of holes with a giant cock & balls drawn on it such was the England man’s conduct once he arrived. He nicked a bottle of vodka, then stayed out late in Sydney when told not to, then stayed out late in Sydney they night after he had stayed out late and been told not to stay out late again! You have to admire his moxie, in many ways. He was “stood down” – which must be Aussie for suspended – for a period of games before eventually returning to England to walk in front of buses.
7. Colin Smart vs aftershave, 1982
A legendary story this one. England had beaten France in Paris and England teammate Maurice Colclough emptied a bottle of free aftershave from the after-match meal, filled it with wine, and drank from it. Thinking that Colclough had drunk the aftershave and not wanting to appear upstaged by his teammate, Smart drank his bottle of aftershave. This, understandably made him very ill to the point he was unresponsive and the England doctor sent him to hospital to have his stomach pumped. The incident was alluded to a month later, after England had beaten Wales, by scrum-half Steve Smith who quipped: “The aftershave will sure taste good tonight!” In 2006 when England doctor Leo Walkden died, Smart returned from his holiday early in order to attend the funeral saying “Leo probably saved my life that night.”