SHIT/GOOD™ Ratings: The Rugby Championship, round two

Richienatorbig

The McCaw: Simply will not stop

SHIT

Conrad Smith – made to look completely ordinary by a 21-year-old.  Now, that 21-year-old is Jesse Kriel, who if not the real deal looks a great deal like it, but still the experience Kiwi should've put in a better showing that this.

Argentina's gameplan – The Pumas have a tried and trusted way of working: assemble a pack of men that look like they eat live wolves by choice as a hobby, let them slowly squeeze the dignity out of their opposition and hope that the backs can do just about enough.  However, vs Australia this was not in evidence as the players threw the ball about as if they were so terrified of holding it tat it was covered in marmite and tarantulas.  It didn't end well.

SHIT/GOOD™ Ratings: Rugby Championship, Final Round

Kieran Read
Read: Coming to get ya!

It's been a while, so let's turn on the SG Computer to run its beady, lifeless eye over the Rugby Championship weekend.  Let's have yours in the comments.

SHIT

The dawning realisation that you won't see as good a game as Boks vs NZ for a long time – Arse.

Morne Steyn – Predictable in his kick-run-pass options, resolutely sticking to the pass most of the time when a bit of his trademark tactical approach would've perhaps one better for his team.  Missed a couple of kicks as well.

Scrum-halves fall victim to one of science’s most difficult concepts: a straight line

Genia
Genia: Has not a single bloody clue if that pass went straight or not

Following the first proper outing for the new scrum laws at the weekend, it is clear that every international scrum half has no idea what a straight line is.  As one coach said after the game, "Once we get that sorted out and the half-backs put the ball in straight we're sure the free kicks and penalties awarded will decrease".

This patience from coaches is understandable because, as we all know, a straight line is one of the most difficult things to fathom in the the history of science. Only last year, Stephen Hawking admitted that he was happy with his grasp on how the universe began, but if you asked him to drive his special chair in a straight line he would be utterly baffled by the mind-pickling complexity of it.

New Zealand Fall One Short of Record Winning Run

by Jack Hamshaw

New Zealand have produced some great times in their history but this current side must surely be up their with the best. Recently the All Blacks had the chance to equal the longest winning run in test history of 17 consecutive matches when they played Australia at Suncorp Stadium. New Zealand’s previous loss, 16 test matches ago, came at the same stadium.

 

It was not meant to be for New Zealand and the irony came with Dan Carter, a player for the ages, missing a last-minute drop-goal from right in front of the posts, 20 metres out. The match ended in an 18-18 draw, in what was a super-human effort from an Australia side that were missing 10 first-team players and were down to their fourth choice captain.