Blood and Mud

Stephen Berkoff does Al Pacino's 'inches' speech, but about rugby

I've only just found this, and I have to say it is one of the most bizaare things I have seen since Kenny Rogers sang The Gambler in an England shirt before the France game at RWC 2007  Using the famous inches speech from Any Given Sunday in relation to rugby is not such a bad idea, but employing arch-luvvie Berkoff to read it almost comes across as a parody akin to Danny DeVito having a go at  Keith Wood's "let's box clever" pre-match spiel from Living With Lions. 

For those who fancy it, the Pacino original is after the jump.

Super 14 Video: Reds 41 - 20 Crusaders; highlights

This weekend saw the Super 14 teams completely forget that the word "defence" exists, never mind how to do it,  and rack up an aggregate points total of 1,234,452.  This game shone out like a beacon of relative sanity in the bag of monkeys of tries, mis-tackles and poor organisation.

This match was notable for two reasons; the Crusaders lost for once, and semi-mentalist and sometime burglar Quade Cooper gave a masterclass in out-half play.  Check out the Reds' opening try from 45 seconds onwards, it's an absolute blinder.

This is the first weekend I have had chance to look at the S14 and the effect of the new "tackler release" directive on the ground.  The ball is certainly coming out faster than I have seen anywhere recently, which is good; but it seems it is so quick that it is wreaking havoc in defences to such an extent that games resemble an NBA match or some overpopulated version of sevens, which is not so good.  Also, what is it with all the cross-kicks?  It's like each team's out-half is on a bonus if they do more than three in a game.

Hard to draw any conclusions after two rounds of matches obviously, but if there are many more scores like Lions 65 - 72 Chiefs, or Bulls 50 - 32 Brumbies, then the credibility of the competition will come into question. 

On Jerry Flannery's ludicrous ban (with video)

With the debate already raging in the comments here, I thought it best to have a proper post about this. Flannery was banned for six weeks on wednesday for this trip on France's Palisson (and by "trip" I mean "bludgeoning");  a ban which is wholly inadequate.

Our French friends of the blog have been quick to come back following the Attoub discussion to use this as yet more evidence of an anti-French agenda in the corridors of power.  I'm not so sure, it is more about incompetence and inconsistency rather than nationality-based prejudice.

There are some differences between the Flannery case and Dupuy/Attoub:

1) Flannery didn't gouge - On the scale of offences gouging is the most heinous at the minute, the Irishman simply wellied someone with such force that it lifted his victim off the ground.  Of course, in real life this would be Actual Bodily Harm, but on a rugby field it can be dressed up as a "misjudgement".  Utter nonsense, this was a vicious assault with zero justification; Palisson had the ball, and even if he didn't there is a difference between hacking a ball on and executing a manoeuvre akin to something from a Van Damme film.  Watch the video, Flannery had plenty of time to pull out but decided to scythe him down anyway.

2) Flannery was apologetic and owned up at the hearing - In any situation where you are being "tried" for a misdemeanour, owning up and saying you are sorry does shorten your sentence, fact.  It is the same in a court of law as it is in a workplace disciplinary - I spent some time as a full-time Trade Union rep so I have first hand experience of this being the case.  So it is natural that Flannery's confession and contrition would have a more positive effect on the outcome for him, rather than Attoub's "evasiveness" which contributed to his lengthy sanction.  By the way, I refuse to believe, as has been put forward by some, that Attoub's evasiveness was anything to do with a language barrier, he could easily have said to his interpretor, "Tell them I'm very very sorry and that it was stupid and I won't do it again."

Where the authorities have ballsed up here is in drawing distinctions between violent foul play of one sort or another and ranking them, e.g. gouging is worse than punching.  This is the fundamental flaw in their disciplinary approach.  The IRB need to give a very strong line that violent foul play - gouging, punching, stamping and kicking - should be treated as one and the same level of offence and treated accordingly.

Taking into account the offence and then his contrition, Flannery should have had a ban similar to Dupuy's, instead he will miss a few Six Nations matches. More worrying is that the disciplinary committee has told the rugby playing world that you can take a violent foul play action that could cripple someone, but they are not really that arsed about it.

RBS 6 Nations Video: Wales 31 - 24 Scotland

Here's the last eight minutes of that diverting game from the weekend.

Classic 6 Nations Video: Ireland suffer last minute heartbreak vs France, 2007

Apologies to all you Irish fans for this, but let's remind ourselves of when France broke Irish Grand Slam hearts back in 2007.  

Ireland were tipped to comfortably beat most in 2007. When they won in Cardiff in week one and O'Gara put Ireland 17-13 up with minutes remaining in this game at Croke Park it still looked like a decent prediction,  all they had to do was gather the restart and play out time.  Then this happened.  

Ireland won the Triple Crown, but finished second to France on a points difference of four, due to the Irish only managing to scrape past Scotland while the French mullered them on the final weekend. 

Once again, respect to the French commentators for not getting too carried away.

Classic 6 Nations Video: England 46 - 12 Wales, 2000

Oh, those long gone days when England would thrash everyone and then bottle the Grand Slam EVERY SINGLE YEAR for what seemed like about 12 years.  Here they are dismantling Wales at Twickenham a decade ago.  

Check out Phil Greening, the forward who could not play as a forward - which was a bit of an issue come scrum and line-out time.  And of course LBND's try, which people always cite as an example of his power, but I prefer to think of as an example of the Welsh team forgetting the sage advice of my old coach from Lancashire; "They can't run 'bout their bloody legs, lads!"

In the interest of balance, that game at Wembley is after the jump...

Classic Six Nations Video: Dominici scores against England, 1998

This is an absolutely superb try and a perfect demonstration of how to convert decent set-piece possession on the 22 into maximum points.  Dominici finally wriggles over after some good old hit-and-rucking leads to some sublime hands across the backline.  

It is touchdowns like this, and the promise of further like it, that keep us watching the game.  Also, check out the french commentator, who sounds like he is frighteningly close to a coronary.

Heineken Cup Video: Munster 12 - 9 Northampton, highlights

As decent a game as the Munster 12 - 9 Northampton clash was last night (see video highlights, right) - full of effort and pace, if not a great deal of precision - one thing that was obvious is just how much Shane Geraghty struggled.

We all know what he can do: run clever angles, create the unexpected etc, but on the evidence of last night what he cannot do is run a game, and the less said about his place-kicking the better.  He was so obviously struggling to give Saints some shape that I was astounded it took Jim Mallinder until the 71st minute to bring on Stephen Myler to give some direction to the surprising amount of possession and territory the visitors were enjoying at Thomond.  

What is perhaps most disheartening is how quickly he seems to stop backing himself when the odd thing goes wrong, because the greatest weakness an international player can have is a lack of resilience and mental strength.

It is not often this blog agrees with the EMO (England Management Omnishambles), but it would seem on the latest evidence that the Saxons is exactly where Shane should be at present. On the biggest stage he not only played poorly, at times he seemed genuinely lost.  It will be interesting to see if he is first off the rank into the senior squad should either Jonny or Flood be injured.

It was also worrying to see just how much Ben Foden was outshone by his opposite number Paul Warwick.  

Unfortunately for Northampton, for everything that went well - the pack scrummaging well and getting good territory - there was too much that went badly wrong; losing that scrum against the head when O'Connell was in the bin was a disgrace, many in the backline had poor or ordinary games, and both Reihana and Geraghty had their Toblerone boots on.

Credit to Munster, though, they really are masters at getting a result, even when not playing particularly well.

Carlos Spencer - talent from another planet

Yes, Daniel Carter is the best in the world; yes, he has the quiet calm of a man floating on a plane higher than the rest of us; yes, he looks a lot like the lead singer from 80s band Brother Beyond.  But, and it's a big but, can he do this?  No, he can't.

I know I've had a pop at his craziness this week, but the minute people like King Carlos stop playing rugby is the same minute I stop watching.

Rugby video: Heineken Cup, Clermont Auverne 40 - 30 Leicester Tigers, highlights